


Red Moon

by Bitch_In_The_Blue



Series: Red Moon: The Saga of Eileen Shan [1]
Category: Cirque du Freak | The Saga of Darren Shan - Darren Shan
Genre: Blood, F/F, F/M, Female Lead, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, LGBT characters, Mild Language, Other, Spinoff, mentally ill lead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-24
Packaged: 2018-11-18 10:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11289372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitch_In_The_Blue/pseuds/Bitch_In_The_Blue
Summary: Destiny has been cheated, and calls upon a new soul out of spite: Darren Shan's own child.





	1. Prologue

            I've always been so fascinated by people with bizarre genetic mutations- usually known as "freaks". My dad was just like me when he was younger- like eleven or twelve years old; though he had a thing for spiders. I couldn't stand them.

My dad's a writer- and a good one at that. His horror stories are popular all around the world with young adults and adults alike. He has dozens out and keeps writing to this day. His most popular series is 'based on a true story', and it's about vampires and a mysterious, wonderful freak show full of mysterious, wonderful people. I loved his books so much throughout my early years that I would imagine going to see the show myself, or even be a part of it- or to be a vampire. I thought my dad's versions of vampires were so cool (and I was grateful that they didn't sparkle). My parents thought it was cute how I was so interested in the world my dad had created that they made me a mock Cirque Du Freak flyer to keep. I loved that thing to pieces and kept it for years and years, stored neatly in a frame above my bed even as I grew older and less obsessed with the series.

It's funny, because my brother Dante was the first born and he's nothing like me- the idea of circus freaks with real superhuman abilities made him cringe.  

When we were younger- I was four and Dante was seven- he'd be afraid of the idea that nature could create such strange people like the fictitious snake boy Evra Von or the vicious wolf-man.   
I'd tell him not to be a chicken.

They weren't real and nothing in this world could make them real; and as far as I knew, it would stay  that way forever.

I was wrong.


	2. Rose

The blaring of my alarm clock shocked me out of my dream. I hated that sound. And with how often I could swear that I heard the noise if I started to fall asleep in class, I thought I was going crazy until I read online that alarm clocks are actually bad for your sleep patterns.  
Still needed one, though. I would sleep through the whole day if I could.  
I left my beloved bed to drag myself to the bathroom and get ready for school. On the way, I passed up my brother's room- where he was still asleep and would stay asleep for three more hours. Dante was so lucky to be out of school. He said his university experience so far is so much more enjoyable with how much freedom you get. I always got excited thinking of having a degree when I was a little younger; but now that I had halfway into my last year of school, all I could think of was how scared I was to face the real world and choose the path I'd be following for the rest of my life- _especially since I had no idea what I wanted to do with the rest of my life!_  
Dante wanted to join the local police force.  
What a boring job! Nothing happened in our town! Ever!! But hey, if law enforcement courses meant being able to sleep in, I'd do it too. The hot water and steam in the shower woke me up better than anything else ever could, and within an hour, I was ready and on my way out the front door to walk to school. We lived relatively close- plus the weather was decent on occasion, so I walked a lot and carried an umbrella most of the time. I liked having the quiet time this early in the morning. There weren't many cars out, no noisy little kids playing, nobody blasting music from their car radios as they drove by- just the sounds of birds chirping and the occasional car passing me up.  
I'd have driven, but I didn't have a car; just had a license. Dante had a car, but that was just because he had to go farther than me. He offered me a ride sometimes but only when it was storming- or when he felt like waking up early!   
" _Goooooooood morning, gorgeous!_ "  
I smiled to myself as my best friend joined me on the walk to school. I gave her a quick, one-armed hug as we walked alongside each other.  
"How was your weekend, love?"  
Her name was Rose Leonard. And my name was Eileen Shan. Our dads were best friends when they were growing up and stuck together ever since. It was like Darren Shan and Steve Leonard were just two names that went together like Tom and Jerry, or Sherlock and Watson. My dad even wrote Steve into his books. He said Steve requested to be the bad guy because he liked how cool and tough the character was. Steve was always like that- he loved villains in movies and would joke around that he was a villain too, just a domesticated one.  
But really he was like my cool uncle who would convince my parents that it was perfectly safe and normal for me and Rose to each have a glass of wine or two at holiday gatherings despite being underage. Special occasions were always more fun when it was all of us together.   
Steve had become a more doting parent in the last couple of years. Rose lost her mum almost two years ago in a car accident. She lived with us for a month after. Steve had been a broken man for that whole time, and he refused to speak to anyone other than Rose and my dad. After he and Rose had healed enough, she moved back home and sold the car she used to have. She was afraid of driving and hadn't been behind the wheel since then.   
"Well, Saturday sucked." She told me. "You know that guy I told you about in my maths class? I tried telling him I liked him but he said I 'wasn't his type'." She rolled her eyes. "And that's just me paraphrasing. He didn't even try to let me down easy."   
I frowned. "What'd you tell him?"   
"Well..."   
"You let him have it, didn't you?"   
"Yup." Rose was a lot like her dad. A short fuse, explosive temper, and a lot of pride to back it up and make it last until the dead horse was thoroughly beaten. I always made it a point to not upset her, though she had a lot more patience for me and Dante than for anyone else in the world. We loved Rose like she was our sister. And as far as we were concerned, she was.   
  
I had English first every day. An easy way to fall back asleep-- with a book in my hand to look busy!   
After English and maths afterward, the day always passed on a lot quicker.  
Especially because Rose and I would sneak our phones into class to text each other about what was going on.  
In History, my last class of the day, Rose sent me a message from her maths class.   
_"He won't even look at me."_   
I frowned, brows furrowed as I read her text. She sounded almost disappointed. _"Isn't that what you wanted?"_   
My phone vibrated moments after the message was sent. She always replied quickly. _"It feels kind of bad."_   
I sighed. _"It'll feel better once class is over. You just need to be away from hi"_   
"Eileen." I didn't get to finish typing out my message. I tried to hide my phone in my lap as my head shot up to face the front of the classroom. My face felt hot with flush. Everyone was looking at me; including my teacher Mr. White.   
"Yeah." I tried to play it off like I'd only been picking at my fingernails. "What event came from the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand?"   
"It was..." The words came slowly. "World War Two?" God, I wish I was good at pretending to pay attention.   
Mr. White nodded, not amused. "Close. But it was World War One. You would know the answer if you put your mobile away and listened to the lecture. See me after class."   
Damn it.   
I sunk into my seat as my classmates snickered at me. There goes my afternoon.  
  


"Texting? In the middle of class?" My mum was having an absolute fit. She had me sit at the kitchen table, phone just out of my reach while she paced and ranted. Mr. White sent me home with a handwritten note about my 'classroom disruption' and expected me to bring back a response (What kind of cruel, sick teacher does that to a student?). This was the part I'd dreaded all of the way through football practice today. My coach even pulled me aside to talk to me afterward to make sure that I was okay. I played terribly. My feet dragged and I was hesitant to make moves with how I imagined this talk with my mum. "It's no wonder your grades are dropping this year! We should have never let you take that phone to school every day. Who were you texting?"   
I was generally able to be honest with my parents when I made mistakes. They were fairly understanding, unless I did something that would affect my future in any way like schooling. Or if it was something that they think I was influenced to do by, say, _a friend I couldn't say no to_. So I kept my mouth shut. I knew better than to snitch.   
"Was it a boy?"   
"No-" Mothers always seemed to assume that 'no' meant: 'yes, and I'm not sorry'.   
"It was, wasn't it?" She gave me a pained look. "You're too young to be letting a boy get in the way of what's important-" I sneered.   
"Nobody's getting in the way of anything. _As if I'd let that happen_. I'm not an idiot."   
"Lose the attitude," she warned.   
"I don't _'have an attitude'_." If I didn't have one before, I sure as hell did now. I hated when she said that- I was being perfectly rational!   
But I should've kept my mouth shut anyway.   
"Who were you texting? I want to talk to his mum. I'll bet she sees how much of a big deal this is too if her son's grades are falling too."   
I got angry.   
" _Holy friggin' crap-_  Mum! I was not talking to a boy! I was talking to Rose!" The facade slips. I'm such an idiot.   
" _Rose_." She repeated. She loved the Leonards as much as the rest of us did, but she often criticized me for being so dependent on Rose (she was my only friend), or how easily she could persuade me to go along with her ideas. "I should've known it'd be Rose."   
She picked up my phone from the table. "I'm going to speak with Steve tonight. For now, I want you to go up to your room and get your homework done."   
"Mum-"   
" _Now._ "  
  
Parents could be so ridiculous. My grades weren't dropping because of my friend, it was because I was so bored by the material! It was difficult to keep focus on something that couldn't keep my attention even if my book were to come alive and tap dance on my desk.   
Mum may have confiscated my phone, but I still had my laptop to write papers on. I sent Rose a message online- social networks were our preferred method of communication, like most people since 2007.   
_"My mum took my phone. She's pissed off."_   
_"Uh oh"_ was Rose's initial response.   
_"It's okay. That's really the worst she'll do. Nothing horrible or cruel, just inconvenient."_ And I guess she was right. I hated admitting that.  
 _"Are you OK?"_   
_"I'm good. Do I not seem okay?"_   
_"Idk, you just seem bummed out. Makes me sad 'cause I love you, dork."_ And that alone made me feel better. I was lucky to have her.  
I cracked a smile and respond to her. _"Love you too, weirdo."_   
  
The next week was boring without having my phone on me to text. I still barely paid attention in class. Made no difference to me. Boredom and lack of interest were still boredom and lack of interest. It felt lonely without being able to communicate with Rose.   
The walks home after school made the wait worth it. Especially by the time Friday came.   
It was a windy day, and we were surprised to see that it was only wind; no rain.   
"The weather in this country is disgusting," Rose grumbled, pulling her long auburn hair out of her face for the tenth time in the last minute. "When I'm rich and famous, I'm moving to the States. Florida. It's warm in Florida from what I hear."   
I chuckle. "When you're rich and famous, I'll be the queen. I won't even have to marry into the family or be a relative, I'll rise up and take the throne for myself and you'll just be _begging_ to come back. But good luck with those alligators."   
She feigns a swoon. "Oh _darling_ , I could never leave you- especially when you're living in Buckingham Palace with all of that extra space for me and my many expensive cars!"   
I start to laugh, pulling my hair from my eyes as another strong gust of wind blows. I jump once I feel a piece of trash blow into my chest. A piece of paper.   
I pause to remove it and, just out of absentminded curiosity, take a look at what it is.   
  
_FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY!  
THE CIRQUE DU FREAK!   
SEE:   
THE BEARDED LADY! GERTHA TEETH! THE WOLF-MAN! QUICKSILVER!  
RHAMUS TWOBELLIES, THE WORLD'S FATTEST MAN! JEKKUS FLANG THE BLADEMASTER!   
THE FAMILY OF SERPENTS! CORMAC LIMBS! AND MANY MORE!_   
  
Just below that was an address and date along with artwork of a bunch of snakes and a snarling wolf's head. And in fine print on the bottom: " _Not for the fainthearted. Some restrictions apply._ "   
  
I stared at the paper as I walked, transfixed. I didn't even notice Rose looking over my shoulder until her arm grazed mine.   
"What's that?" She asked.   
"It looks like someone made fan art for my dad."   
"And conveniently lost it for us to find?"   
I shrugged. "Dumb luck, small world?"   
"Hang on," she muttered, brows furrowed as she held the corner of the page. "Look at the address and date."   
I took a second look- I didn't notice the details at first glance. The date was tomorrow night. The address was in town. I shrug. "So it's a really creepy, _realistic_ piece of artwork." I peered up from the paper and looked around where we stood. There was nobody in sight who could've abandoned it for us to read... Strange...   
"We should check it out!" Rose shook my arm excitedly and I rolled my eyes. She always got that way when she wanted to do something. "They wouldn't just pick an address in town unless something was actually gonna be there. Come on, it'll be awesome!"   
"You do know this is fake, right? The Cirque Du Freak is fiction. _Fiiiiction_. My dad made it all up. Next thing you know, you're gonna start telling me that vampires and vampaneze are real too. Besides, it's at three in the morning. Who wants to stay up for a stupid hoax?"   
"Psh, I never said I believed in vampires," she scoffed. We reached her home and stopped outside near the mailbox. "What's the worst we'll find? An empty building? People having a theme party? So what? Think of it as an adventure!" She spoke fast and energetically as though she believed it would sway me.   
"An 'adventure' this soon after getting in trouble would mean getting into more trouble. You know that- your dad doesn't really punish you, but my parents might actually kill me if I go out that late for a show!"   
"I've got your back. We could sneak out for it. Say you're sleeping over at my place and I'll say I'm at yours. You won't have your phone on you and my dad doesn't ever bug me when I'm with you- we're golden! "   
"You're insane."   
"I'm _fun_." Rose winked. "I'm gonna go, with or without you; so are you in or out?"   
And there was my first bad decision. "Fine, I'm in."


	3. Remarkable Human Beings

I was antsy for the rest of the night and into the next day. I didn't even really sleep. It wasn't that I was excited to see the show- I still thought the advertisement was fake. I was just scared of being caught out in town in the middle of the night. Rose and I were only seventeen, underage for being out all night. We'd snuck out and done things like this before. My mum was right to believe that Rose influenced me to find trouble. We'd gone to parties, we'd drunk underage, we've even had secret boyfriends before- I even went with her when she got a tattoo that Steve doesn't know about. I almost got one too, but I couldn't think of one I'd be happy with at the time. So instead I got my belly button pierced. I had to take it out a week later when my mum saw it poking through one of my shirts. I lied to her and told her it was just how the shirt hung on my body.  
But this little outing was different. If the police were to find us tonight, we were screwed beyond the shadow of a doubt.  
We'd discussed the details online; and when the time came, I crawled out of bed, threw on some shoes, left my house with ease through the garage, and took off on my bicycle to the Leonard household.  
Rose was waiting for me outside when I arrived. She was in her pajama pants, a hoodie and a pair of skate shoes, waiting for me on the seat of her own bike with her hands in her pockets- but here I was fully dressed and even with makeup.  
"You sure got dolled up for a fake show. Cute."  
"I already had all this on," I blushed. "At least I can pass for an adult like this. You look like a vandal!"  
My friend grinned from ear to ear, pulling her hands from her pockets and brandishing two small cans of spray paint; one red, one black. "You know me so well!"  
"You're gonna get me arrested tonight. I just know it" I resigned to the fact that we'd be into some mischief tonight, Cirque or not, as we started cycling into town.  
  
The streets were usually empty at night around here; we lived in a small town. But the worst part about towns this size was that everyone knew each other. If we saw someone who knew our parents... Game over.  
I was always the paranoid, cowardly type all the way deep down to my core ever since I hit puberty. I started caring more about what people thought of me, to the point that it really subdued my personality. After that I had to figure myself out again but the tendencies and anxieties stayed. I liked to imagine being brave when I grew up, but I'd never had a notable brave moment in my life that I could remember after twelve years old.  
So while we were riding our bikes, I nearly crashed into mailboxes, trash bins, fire hydrants, or even Rose's bike at least six or seven times while on the lookout for any hidden police cruisers.  
The building itself was one I'd seen a million times in passing. It was a cleared out theater. It'd been shut down years ago but no one ever bothered to rent out the property or just tear the structure down. I always wondered why they just left it up, but tonight I was kind of glad they did.   
Rose pulled up ahead of me and dismounted her bike, allowing it to fall over onto the concrete as she tried the door.   
"Aw, the door's locked," Rose grumbled as she kicked the dirty window on the door.   
"See?" I sighed. "I told you it was just bullsh-"  
"Let's try the back!" She interrupted with a mischievous smirk, picking up her bike and rolling it into the alley.   
"Oh my god, _Rose_ ," I groaned, lagging behind a moment. "It's not happening, we should-" she went on without me. I rolled my eyes and breathed an exasperated sigh before pedaling behind her.   
The alley was narrow and dark, and Rose had turned on the flashlight in her mobile to lead the way. "There's gotta be a back entrance," she mused, shining the light along the brick walls of the theater to find an access point.  
"Can we go home yet?" I asked. Honestly, the idea of sneaking out seemed risky at first, but now that nothing was happening, I just bored and wanted to go back to bed to carry on with my life.   
"Not until I at least mark the inside of this place." Rose snickered, gasping with renewed excitement when the light of her phone found a rusted steel door on the back end of the theater. "I've been dying to paint for days and here's my chance!" She pushed her bike aside for the second time, ignoring the loud crash of it colliding with a dumpster as she yanked at the door handle.   
"This is stupid, can we just-" I went silent as the door opened with a heavy, metallic creak.   
Rose stood proudly in the opening, holding the door open by leaning against it with a cocky grin and a "come on in!" wave.   
I rolled my eyes again, dismounting my bike and leaning it on the building before following her inside while bitterly muttering _'lead the way, Banksy'_ under my breath.   
As we entered and the door fell shut behind us, we froze upon seeing lit candles of all different sizes and colors lining the dusty, shadowy corridor.   
"Someone's here," I whispered, stomach lurching with nerves.  
"I know!" Rose hissed back excitedly, bouncing on the balls of her feet in anticipation before walking down the lit path.   
The grip of anxiety on the back of my neck told me to just back out, but I wouldn't leave without Rose. And maybe I was just as bad of a thrill-seeker as her. I had to look around or else I'd spend forever wondering what I missed!  
Plus if she didn't come back, everyone would find out that we snuck out and that I left her. I wasn't going to risk our safety by separating!  
  
So we walked side by side, arms linked, through the lit areas. A couple of turns later, the trail stopped at a set of heavily graffitied double doors. Many candlesticks of varying sizes- all red- lined the floor on either side of the door.   
"This is gonna be good," Rose mumbled, gripping the door's handle and ripping it open as quickly as she could.   
We were greeted by harsh green lights, and I had to shut my eyes for a moment to keep them from being burned by the intensity of the color. I adjusted quickly, as did Rose. She stepped inside and I followed- and that was when we saw what the room held.  
The screen that was once used for projecting films was glowing green from a stage light being focused on it from the projector room, the first several rows of theater seats had been ripped out and were missing- and the empty area they'd left was now a makeshift stage area.   
Many of the seats in the theater had people sitting in them- normal people by the looks of them. Not squatters, thugs, or weirdos.  
"See? There's no way that flyer was fake!" Rose beamed.   
"Okay, so I guess we aren't the only ones who found the stupid flyer. That doesn't make this the real deal." I replied, trying to count the amount of people in the seats. There had to be at least one hundred men and women in the crowd!  
My count is interrupted when I notice someone behind me. I peeked back and expect to have to move out of someone's way, but instead I was greeted by the sight of an obscenely tall man dressed in black and red.   
_Oh my god-_  
Rose notices me gaping and turns, jaw dropping when she sees the man before us who was easily twice my own height. He towered over us, black eyes trained on us both like a watchdog. "Your tickets, please?" He croaked, voice low and quiet; yet still prominent amongst the noise in the theater. His lips didn't even seem to move- he was as still as a statue.   
"Oh," I murmured. "We still need to buy tickets."  
"I've got money," Rose said rather timidly. We both dug into our pockets, removing our wallets and finding the necessary amounts for the tickets. "Can we pay from here?"  
"I will allow it this once," the tall man replied, holding out a large hand to take our payment. We dropped the money in his hand and he clenched it tightly. "You may take your seats. The show is about to begin. We hope that you enjoy it."  
"Th-thank you, sir." I nodded, taking Rose by the arm and leading her away to the seating.   
"That guy's gigantic," Rose whispered.  
"Probably on stilts," I replied. "It's hard to tell with how dark this lighting is."  
We climbed up a few steps before settling into the first two seats of the fourth row.   
"Can you see from here?" Rose asked.   
"I brought my glasses," I nodded, sliding my wallet back into the pocket of my sweatshirt and finding my glasses inside of their case. I removed the red-rimmed specs and wiped off the lenses with the cloth inside the case before sliding them onto my face. The distant, blurry stage became clear and I could finally see.  
"You should wear them more often," Rose chuckled. "You look like a cute librarian."  
I grinned and rolled my eyes, nudging her playfully. "Shut up."  
She smiled back and sunk into her seat comfortably, seemingly pleased with herself as our attention moved back to the stage. The green spotlight began to fade, the room began to darken until we could barely make out shapes of people moving in the front. The sound of metallic rattling was the only hint of what was happening.   
I squinted hard, leaning forward in my seat to try to make out what was going on.   
Then the rattling stopped, and I listened closely for any other sounds- the audience was as silent as a graveyard.  
And then the silence was broken by an earsplitting, animalistic roar. I fell back into my seat, covering my mouth to suppress a sharp gasp. Rose jumped, hand gripping my arm until the long roar stopped.   
Then the green light was replaced by a regular spotlight, and the room lit up again. I gaped at the sight of a large wheeled cage on the stage. Inside; a large, muscular, hairy creature on two legs with the face of a wolf.   
"Oh my god, that's the wolf-man!" Rose beamed, leaning forward in anticipation, eyes wide in disbelief.   
"That's an actor in a costume," I muttered. I tried to act unimpressed, but I was struggling not to smile in excitement. "This is really cheesy."  
"Shhh," Rose said. "This is about to get good."   
"Ladies and gentlemen," the imitation Mr. Tall said, "welcome to the Cirque Du Freak, home of the world's most remarkable human beings."  
I smiled to myself as I listened to the tall man speak. I knew the show wasn't real, and it was _preeeeeeetty_ cheesy, but even a good fake was exciting! It was like revisiting my childhood and making it real- it felt good.  
"-warn you that all of our acts are real, each performer is unique, and none are harmless."  
The crowd was silent as the ringleader left the stage, and two women in sparkly outfits came on and unlocked the wolf-man's cage. I knew what came next. A fake scare to weed out any chickens in the audience. Fun stuff.  
When they were ready, they walked the hypnotized 'werewolf' up the steps on the far side of the theater. They encouraged people to reach out and gently touch his fur. Once they reached the back rows, they headed back to the front to go up the other side- mine and Rose's side.  
He came closer and closer, and I began to see the details of his costume. His legs looked like a dog's legs and he didn't walk like a human, the whole of his body moved and low, idle growls escaped his jaws and his chest and shoulders rose and fell each time he released a breath.  
Oh god, it wasn't a costume.  
That was a _real_ werewolf.  
I began to stand up to leave my seat after the wolf-man and the two pretty stagehands passed us up, but Rose's hand on my arm didn't budge; so I unwillingly stayed.  
Oh nonononononononono- I knew what was coming next...  
_BANG!_  
The sound came just as the wolf-man was three rows behind us, and he snapped out of his trance. He shoved the two women away from himself and released a bellowing, guttural howl; sending the audience into a panic. I grabbed Rose from her seat where she was frozen in horror, pulling her onto the floor and under the row of seats so that we wouldn't be trampled by the terrified people who were attempting to flee. I made the mistake of looking through the gap between the chairs and the floor.  
I could only see the absolute lowest parts of the wolf-man's legs. He was hovering over a woman on the ground who was trying to kick him back. I watched him drop to his hands and knees over her, grab her around her throat and arm, digging his claws into the bare part of her arm, roaring triumphantly, and sinking his teeth into her shoulder before ripping off her arm completely! Her screams were so gut-wrenching that even the usually desensitized Rose Leonard began to cry in fear. I felt my stomach churn and my eyes began to water as I realized that I'd been watching without blinking. I covered my mouth to mute myself. I had been hyperventilating all this time and hadn't noticed.  
Before the wolf-man could do any more damage to the woman or her severed arm, Mr. Tall appeared from thin air, wrapped his long arms around the werewolf like a straightjacket, and whispered something into the beast's ear to calm him. Once the wolf-man was silenced, Mr. Tall requested that everyone returned to their seats. Some people walked out, but most of the people who weren't already out there door went back to where they were.  
Rose and I looked to each other with unease as we crawled out from under our seats, unsure of whether or not it was wise to stay. "I want to go home," I whimpered.  
"I-It's just like the books, right?" Rose asked, wiping her wet cheeks. "We aren't in danger anymore?"  
"I want. To go. _Home_." I repeated.  
"Don't be a baby, Eileen!" Rose sniffed, rubbing her eyes. The doubt in her eyes made it seem like she was trying to convince herself as much as me. "W-We paid for the show of a lifetime. A little scare isn't going to keep me away..."  
She let go of my arm and sat back in her seat. I could see her trembling, but she stared forward and waited patiently for the show to continue.  
And against my better judgment, I didn't fight it anymore. I followed her example and sat beside her. Eyes forward and trying to ignore the chaos still going on behind us. But I couldn't.  
  
The wolf-man's victim was sobbing in between howls of agony as her blood rapidly pooled around her stump. Mr. Tall picked up her severed arm, raised the fingers of his free hand to his lips, and whistled. Just as in the stories, a couple of Little People came and reattached her limb so perfectly that she was standing and walking out of the theater within a few minutes. Good as new, but visibly shaken. More than likely going to a hospital to be checked out.  
I was seeing this underground show in a whole new light.  
This was the _real_ Cirque Du Freak. The magical show I'd dreamed about throughout my childhood.  
And as dangerous as it was, I didn't want to leave as soon as I settled back into my seat beside Rose Leonard.  She was right. This was something I've waited my whole life for- I wasn't gonna miss the chance to see it. I'd just have to suck it up and stay in my seat.  
The following acts weren't dangerous, so as to keep the crowd from being too scared to stick around. Cormac Limbs who was quite happy to mutilate himself on stage with the help of the knife wielding Jekkus Flang so that he could regenerate, Gertha Teeth and Rhamus Twobellies who collaborated, Merla Von and her detachable ears, the beautiful Truska and her invincible, retracting beard.  
There were only a few acts left in the show by that point, and I was absolutely in heaven. The two acts I anticipated most were sure to come up soon: The Family of Serpents, and Quicksilver.  
_Why 'Quicksilver'? Where's Madam Octa?_  
As if on cue, the spotlights darken again and the crowd silences with anticipation for what's next. I strain my ears to pick up any hint of a sound.   
And I'm met with a soft hissing noise along with the very faint sound of something fleshy being moved across the stage.   
Then the hissing suddenly grew louder and the lights were instantly switched on. I gasped excitedly with the rest of the audience, grinning from ear to ear when I took in the sight of three people in shorts- the only female also wearing a cropped shirt- with scales instead of skin and yellow-green hair; each one with a different large breed of snake draped over their shoulders and one massive snake circled around them on the stage floor. I knew them all instantly: Evra had the longest hair of the three. I could only recognize him as the oldest because his scales were a slightly faded color compared to the others. Shancus was just barely taller, and Lilia being just a few centimeters shorter than her father; with her long hair and much more slender body.   
I watched with fascination as people clapped for the family. I'd have clapped too, but my hands instinctively clasped together in front of my chest as though trying to settle my beating heart.  
And then the lights in the theater were switched on.  
"Show's over," a voice boomed from the door. A group of three police officers entered the theater, one with a megaphone, the other two with zip-tie handcuffs at the ready, as well as gas masks hanging from their belts. The one with the megaphone spoke again. "This event is an illegal and unethical practice, and all attendees and proprietors are to be charged. We ask that you remain calm, comply, and stay-"  
A voice in the back raised the alarm first. " _IT'S THE COPS!_ " The theater erupted into chaos as all of the members of the audience jumped from their seats and began to run from the police.  
Several more officers wearing gas masks stormed the theater, and Rose and I linked hands and made a break for it. I saw the first group of three officers hurriedly put on their own gas masks, and I noticed smoke coming from the group that followed them in. Tear gas!  
During the confusion we managed to get past the officer near where we came in, but out if the corner of my eye I saw that one of the other audience members wasn't so lucky.   
"Why would they send a riot squad!?" Rose gasped for breath. "I'm writing the local politicians about this! This is excessive force!"  
"Which way did we come from!?" I gasped, eyes darting wildly back and forth in panic as people rushed past us, forcing us up against the wall where it was safer. The hallways were dark, many of the candles had been trampled out by the escaping crowd.   
"This way, come on!" Rose ran down the corridor to our right and pulled me along. I nearly tripped but quickly caught up to her. More people flooded out behind us and many of them followed thinking we knew the escape route.   
One particularly fast woman ran between us and our hands were pulled apart. I stopped in my tracks, trying to find Rose in the dark, but at least a dozen more running audience members came at full speed, pushing me back against a door to keep from being shoved down and trampled. I gripped the doorknob and turned it hard in both directions. Locked.   
I saw flashlights approaching.  
I suddenly became aware that I was hyperventilating. I couldn't get arrested, I couldn't! I'd never live it down!  
Suddenly the door behind me was jerked open and I shrieked as I fell back into another room. The door slammed shut again and I scrambled to my feet to lock it, still breathing heavily in my panic.   
A hand is clamped over my mouth and before I can utter a sound, its owner whispering: "Do not scream."   
I hear the police walk right past the door.   
Of course, my first reaction was to make as much noise as I could. An arrest would be a cakewalk compared to what this could turn out to be!  
But before I start to scream, he uncovers my mouth and breathes a sigh of relief. "It is safe. Go before they come back."  
He's not gonna hurt me?  
What luck!  
I turn to him so that I can thank him; and now that my eyes are adjusted to the dark, I finally see him.   
My jaw drops and my eyes go wide. My heart leaps into my throat and I go stupidly mute for just one millisecond- just short enough so that the first words to slip quietly out of my mouth are-  
"Mr. Crepsley..."  
The vampire's brows furrow and he studies me for a moment as though trying to figure out if he's ever met me before.   
He speaks quietly. "Who are _you_?"  
I open my mouth to answer him but no sound comes out. My brain's shut down- this was too much to process. So instead of sticking around, I open the door, slip out, and run.  
A few turns later and I came to the door! I found it! I crashed through the door, found my bike and-  
"Stay where you are! Hands up!"  
Flashlights shine on my back and I freeze, dropping my bike and raising my trembling hands in surrender.   
Next thing I know, a police officer has me with my hands behind my back and I'm being handcuffed with one of those zip-tie things. And then I'm put into the back of a police van. 


	4. Silent Treatment

And then I'm at the police station on a bench next to a very pissed off Rose Leonard.   
The adults who were caught were put into holding cells inside the police station, but the two of us were made to call home, explain what happened tonight to our parents, and ask for someone to pick us up- all while being supervised by a cop who wasn't even really paying attention to us.   
"At least we aren't in jail," I sighed, slumping forward. "Still... Our parents are gonna murder us."  
Rose didn't respond. She hadn't spoken to me since it was my turn to  make my phone call. Dad answered. He spoke calmly, but I could hear that he was going to guilt trip the crap out of me.  
"Are you as freaked out as I am? You seem too calm."  
"Oh, I'm freaked out," she huffed. "I'm freaked out that you just left me at the theater!"  
I frowned. "We _both_ got arrested!"  
She turned to me with a nasty look. "Yeah, we did! After we got separated, I was looking for you and got caught. You got caught after not even trying to find me! You were just going to head home and pretend you were never involved!"  
"That's not true!" I gasped. It's true that I didn't search for her- but... "I thought you left without me!"  
She narrows her eyes at me. "You think I'm that selfish? You know, Eileen- just because _you're_ a self-preserving coward, doesn't mean that I am too!"  
That hurt. "Rose-"  
She waves me off. "I don't want to talk to you. I'll let you know when I do."  
And then she went quiet, turning to face away from me and leaning against the wall behind us.   
I opened my mouth to apologize, but I backed down.   
I always backed down.   
Because she was right. I was a coward.   
  
It was a while later that Steve came and picked us both up. The car ride was long and filled with awkward silence in between Steve telling us that he and my parents were all livid.   
He dropped me off at my house, where my mum and dad were waiting inside watching me from the living room window. They waved their thanks to Steve before he drove off- leaving me alone to enter the lions' den.  
  
"What in the ever- loving _hell_ were you thinking!?" Mum scolds, pacing back and forth and making aggressive hand gestures while she spoke.   
My dad's anger was much scarier to me- he sat across from me at the kitchen table and stared me down until I felt as big as an ant in between asking me questions and making statements that only made me feel like utter crap.   
My parents were good at making me regret doing stupid things.  
"I wasn't thinking," I mumbled.  
"What were you out for, Eileen?" Dad asks. He only ever called me 'Eileen' when he was angry. I was 'Eily' any other time.  
"There was a show tonight and we found a flyer for it so we decided-"  
My mother comes alive with anger. "What kind of show!? What kind of disgusting show goes on in the middle of the night in a dangerous condemned building-- and lets young girls inside!?"  
It's actually shameful to admit. Too shameful. Freak shows have been illegal for decades. So I lie instead. "A-A magic show..."  
That's at least semi-truthful. It was bizarre enough to count as a magic act, right?  
My dad looks almost relieved. "Was it good?"  
Mum isn't amused and the look on her face says a million different words- none being good.   
I smile faintly at the memory of what I'd seen. "It was great."  But the smile disappears when I remember who I met. I'd forgotten all about him until now- the whole run-in with the police had occupied my mind until right then...  
"I hope it was worth it," Dad sighed. "Because you're not only grounded for the next three months, but you're also not getting your phone back- ever. We'll be taking your computer, and you'll be doing volunteer work after school until the semester is over."  
That's getting off easy.   
"Are you serious!?" But my big mouth got me into more trouble anyway.   
  
Rose wouldn't even acknowledge me at school anymore. After day three of the cold shoulder, I gave up trying to walk to and from school with her and settled for straggling alone. We had no means of communication now that I didn't have a phone or access to a computer- and I didn't think she had her own electronics either. Knowing her dad, her sentence was smaller than mine. She almost never got caught; and if she did, she never had a harsh punishment and she never got caught twice.   
But still- she couldn't stay mad at me forever, could she? It was a dumb mistake and I was sorry- I'd do anything to make it up to her if she'd give me the chance.   
If it wasn't Rose I was thinking about, it was Mr. Crepsley. I could wrap my head around a mystical freak show being real, but vampires were an entirely different story.   
I over-analyzed everything after that- especially any scars from my childhood that I couldn't remember getting. Had I been fed on without knowing it? Had Dante and my parents?   
Eventually I told myself I was being ridiculous. Vampires didn't exist. That was impossible. The closest things to vampires in reality were bats, bugs, and parasites. Not anything human shaped or literally allergic to the sun. That man I saw wasn't a vampire. Just a circus freak who was given a creative back-story by my dad. Anything to make sense of this.  
  
I ended up volunteering at the public library every day after school. The librarian was a very sweet old man with bad arthritis who reminded me of my grandpa, so I helped him out as much as I could with any lifting, shelving, and typing. I even stayed after closing to make sure he didn't have anything extra to work on the next morning.  
It was dark out by the time we were finished, and I made my way home on foot. It was a long walk, but I couldn't take my bike anymore. The police kept it after my arrest, so in addition to being punished, I'd also be getting exercise.   
I'd kill for my phone right then.   
Instead I had to settle for singing my favorite songs under my breath as I followed the sidewalks home.   
Tonight felt...off. It was like I was being watched.  
I tried to inconspicuously check for other signs of life around me when I reached a crosswalk. Nobody but a woman walking a big, fluffy dog across the road. The dog walked with its tail between its legs and kept close to the lady walking it. Did he have the same bad feeling?   
  
I got home safely and took care of that night's homework before I showered, ate dinner, then went to my room. I sat at my desk and picked a book off of my shelf. All I had now were books, so I reread _A Living Nightmare_ , trying to piece together anything about Mr. Crepsley  
"Knock knock," Dante said at my open door.  
"who's there?" I asked dryly.  
"Concerned brother," he responded, trying to lift the mood as he walked into my room.  
I sighed and leaned back in my rolling chair. ."'Concerned brother', who?"   
"Dante, your very concerned brother," he smiled as I turned to face him. He made himself comfortable on my bed and helped himself to the open bag of Starbursts I had on my nightstand. "Being concerned about you staying in here all day, every day," he added through a mouthful of red and pink candies.  
"I was saving those pink ones!" I grimaced.   
"For me? You're such a good sister."  
"God damn it," I muttered under my breath with a roll of my eyes. I wasn't bothered, I just knew he liked to see me react. He thought it was funny, I thought it was funny- it was an unspoken inside joke.  
That got a laugh from my brother. "Alright, now you have to tell me what's wrong. Spit it out, _kiddo_."  
"Stop calling me that, I'm almost an adult."  
"That won't stop me. You know that. _Kiddo_."  
" _Uuuuugggghhh_ \--- It's Rose."  
"What's wrong with Rose?" All traces of joking disappeared, and Dante hunched forward to listen, looking worried. He cared for Rose as much as I did. Our unofficial third sibling.  
"She won't talk to me since we got arrested. She thinks I tried to leave her behind. But I just didn't know where she was... I thought she already got away."  
He nodded, understanding. Dante was a good listener when I needed him to be. Best brother ever, as far as I was concerned. "So it's a misunderstanding. She'll get it eventually and let you back in. Then you'll make up, binge watch a TV show together, and that'll be that. Don't sweat it."  
"That's not the only thing I'm worried about." I added.  
"What else is there?" He asked.  
I glanced at the book on my desk. Maybe it was better that he didn't know. Maybe it was better that _nobody_ knew. The repercussions of revealing the existence of vampires would be... drastic, to say the least. "Uh- a boy," I lied.   
"I'll fight him."  
"He hasn't even done anything."  
"I'll still fight him. But in a _Fight Club_ sort of way, not a _Kill Bill_ way. Friend fighting."  
I laugh for the first time in days. "You are _such_ an ass!"  
"You sound surprised."  
  
After Dante left, I laid in my bed to go to sleep. So this was what not having any entertainment felt like. Not only had I lost internet and phone, but my last outburst also cost me television and DVDs. It was hard to sleep with having so many thoughts of what I was missing out on online.   
And Rose.  
Even when I was thinking of other things, there were still thoughts of her in the back of my mind that I'd go back to like a bookmarked page. My best friend hadn't spoken to me in so long- I hadn't even seen her in school with how well she was avoiding me.   
Rose avoiding me...  
The very idea made my eyes water like a frustrated little kid's. But I squeezed my eyes shut and forced the tears back. I guess I'd just have to suck it up and carry on until she let me see her again. Like Dante said.


	5. Some Stupid Kid

The next few nights were the same. I helped close the library, I felt followed on the way home, and I got back safe and spent lonely nights in my room. Until the weekend.   
Part of my punishment was to work at the library on Saturdays from noon to closing, so I'd spent all day with the elderly librarian and listening to stories of how he'd traveled around Europe in his military service and the fun he'd had in the different countries. Many of his stories were fun to listen to- some involved drunken mishaps, his friends acting like fools for dares, how he met his wife in Germany and fell in love with her. It was a sweet story.  
I was still thinking about it while I took inventory of returned books until the bell at the counter rung.   
I looked up from my computer screen to see a strange old man in a dingy yellow suit and a seemingly false smile staring intently at me through his thick round glasses while I worked.   
"Can I help you, sir?" I ask slowly; put off by his bizarre appearance.   
"Yes, my dear, I think you can," he replied kindly. "I'm looking for something unspecific- just something about human physiology. Can you take me to that section?"  
"Oh," I nodded, "yes, absolutely." I left my seat behind the desk and led him to the science section of the library. I saw that he was wearing beaten up green rain boots. This guy must have either been a clown or even color blind- how else could anyone walk around in public like that?  
Even if he were in different clothes, he would still be a strange man. Shorter than me, and fat with short white hair. He walked with a waddle and there was a weird sort of vibe coming off of him, like I could feel that he wasn't really there for the books.   
"Here we are, the medical section should have what you're looking for. I'll be back at the desk if you need any more help, alright?" I said, trying to excuse myself from the eerie little man as politely as possible.  
"Miss Shan, I think I'll be needing more help before you go." I freeze, stunned when I hear him say my name. How did he know my name?  I didn't wear a nametag...  
I try to ignore the bad feeling in the back of my mind. Maybe he knew my parents or maybe he was a friend of my boss. "Sure, what is it?"  
"Perhaps you would know which of these books specifies on how much a human can suffer before they finally die? I've seen a few examples where the limits of the body are pushed but it still stays alive and I'm curious about just how much further they could have gone before they gave up and let themselves go..."  
A chill runs through me and my stomach churns. The little voice of my conscience said that this is the type of person all parents warn their children about. _It was him I felt following me home every night.  
_ Strangers with bad intent were the real boogeyman, and I was standing face-to-face with one who knew my name and where I worked. Possibly even where I lived and went to school.  
"I-I don't know, sir." I stammer. Every instinct in my body screamed at me to run, that this man wasn't a man, but a real live monster.  
"Very well, I suppose I can find it on my own," he sighs. Then he gives me another phony smile- only now, I feel like I am being directly threatened. "Thank you for your time. I hope I see you again _very_ soon. And please, call me Desmond."  
"O-Okay...Have a g-good day." My voice breaks and I step away from him, afraid to turn my back but not having much choice.   
I safely return to the front desk and sink slowly into my chair while my heart pounds fearfully in my chest.   
It wasn't until he told me his name that I actually realized who he was.   
I just crossed paths with Mr. Des Tiny.    
  
I didn't see Mr. Tiny again after our encounter at the library, but I couldn't get rid of the overwhelming feeling of dread or the sense of being watched until I arrived home that night.  
Dinner was ready when I walked in the door, and I was the last one to the table. I settled in and reached over to make my plate, but withdrew when I realized I had no appetite.   
Fear set in further and made my stomach turn into an icy pit when I realized that Mr. Tiny knew who I was and where I worked and could come and go as he pleased.   
He'd kill me. Or he'd literally eat me alive. Probably whichever caused more pain.  
Or I could assume that his taste in literature meant that he'd make me suffer as much as I could take and then some before letting the reaper take me.  
"How was the library tonight?" My dad asked.  
"I don't want to work there anymore." My mouth moved before my brain, and my parents looked to each other briefly.   
"You should have thought of that before you snuck around town in the middle of the night," mum sniffed.   
"Mum, there was a creepy old man there today! He made me try to help him find a book about torture and he knew my name and-"  
"Bas, love, we shouldn't make her work somewhere she doesn't feel safe." My dad said.  
"I know, but we have to line something up before we can let her quit." Mum frowned.   
" _She's right there, you know_. It's not cool to talk about someone like they can't hear you." Dante said dryly before taking a sip of his drink. My brother often defended me. He knew I wasn't much of a fighter.   
Proof: I kept my mouth shut.   
Not because I was scared, but because I couldn't think of what to say. If he could find me in one place, what could stop him from finding me elsewhere? Like when I was alone on the walk to school?  
"I want to stay home after school," I mumbled. "I feel safer at home..." I could at least lock the doors and close the curtains at home. I could pretend I wasn't there if someone were to come knocking.         
"You're not using this as an excuse to get out of your sentence." Dad sighed.  
"I'm not," I agreed. "I just can't do this. I feel like something bad is gonna happen."  
My parents were strict, but I was lucky that they were understanding when it came down to when I was truly uncomfortable with something. Ultimately, they wanted me to be safe. "Well... I think it'd be alright if you came home after school from now on. You've learnt your lesson." Mum said. "What do you think, Darren?"  
Dad nodded in agreement. "I'm fine with that. No internet still, we're not completely letting you off. But you can have your phone back, if helps you to feel safer. But I'll be checking often to make sure you aren't using it to text during school hours."  
"Oh my god, thank you." I breathed a sigh of relief, slumping in my chair and feeling a little less uneasy; at least in my head. I still felt the same fear induced adrenaline in my chest as before, like it wasn't ready to accept the hope of safety.   
  
Once dinner was over, I went to my room to get ready to shower. I left the room dark while I searched my drawers for clean clothes. My phone in my hand playing my music as loud as it'd go through the speakers. The light of the hallway reached in far enough that I could see what clothes I was taking with me.   
My bedroom door quickly closed, but didn't slam. I jumped, eyes darting to the door. The lights were flipped on and I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden brightness.   
"Dante!" I groaned, rubbing my burning eyes. "Ugh, you know I hate it when you try to scare me!" I shot a nasty look to the wall with my light switch; except I didn't find my brother standing there with a dumb grin.   
A tall, red clothed man greeted me instead, and I felt sick to my stomach with dread.  
"I will ask you once more. _Who are you?_ " Mr. Crepsley locks my door behind his back and stares menacingly at me.   
I can't even answer him. I'm frozen.  
"Will you turn off that horrible noise?" He sneered.  
"Oh-" is all I can manage, realizing he meant to turn off my music.  
"Honestly, I do not understand how that is enjoyable. What _is_ that?"  
"... Heavy metal. It's nothing-" I pause the music and the silence in the room is an uncomfortable replacement. "How did you get in my room?"   
"It was not hard. Who are you?" He asks again.  
"I'm Eileen," I reply, dropping my clothes back into my drawer.   
"And?"  
"I'm just-- some stupid kid?"  
"That is all?"  
"That _is_ all." I nod, taking a good hard look at him now that we weren't in total darkness. He was tall and thin and pale as a ghost. His clothes weren't as dated as I imagined, but looked sorta vintage nonetheless. He had a cruel looking face, accentuated by the long scar on the left side.   
"Then perhaps you can explain how 'some stupid kid' managed to get the attention of Des Tiny this morning."  
I felt that sinking feeling in my chest. "You know about that?"  
"Yes. I have been watching you since you left the theater. And I know that it is only those who are very unlucky who ever cross paths with _him_. And I also know that you know who _I_ am. It is not common for someone to recognize me when I do not know them. These are not signs of something good. Are you really just 'some stupid kid'?"  
I stared at him. "So... You really are a vampire? I'm not crazy?"  
He looks at me curiously. "And what do you know about that?"  
" _Oh god you are, aren't you?!_ " I hiss, an overwhelming realization coming over me. Everything I thought was impossible suddenly became the clear opposite-- I didn't even know what other terrifying truths that could imply.  
"If you get any louder and someone hears, I will be forced to kill you."  
I go quiet, holding up my finger to him to signal him to wait. I walk across the room to my desk where I pick up my copy of _A Living Nightmare_. I take it over to him and hold it up for him to read the cover.   
He looks at the book, cocks an eyebrow, then looks at me. Puzzled.   
"Riiiight," I mutter. "You can't read."  
"How do you know so much about me when we have never met?"  
"Because of this book. It's the first in a series of twelve books called Cirque Du Freak." I reply. "And this series-" I go back to my book shelf and grab _Birth of a Killer._ "You're in almost all of these!"  
"'Almost' all of them?"   
I go quiet again. How do I explain his own death to him...?  
"Why are you here?" I ask instead. "Are you gonna kill me because I know who you are?"  
He looked thoughtful, like maybe he didn't even know what he came here to do.  
"No," he replied after a long few seconds. "I had originally planned to, but because you seem to be much less ignorant than I thought, I am instead going to keep you away from Des Tiny. Under my _close_ observation."  
"Why, what does he want from me?"  
"I do not know, and I do not want to know. But because you know so much, the clan could be in danger if you were to go unsupervised." Mr. Crepsley saw the anxious look on my face, and knew that I knew what he was suggesting.  
"Wait, what!? I can't be a vampire," I blurted. "I'm not strong enough-- I wear glasses, I can barely even read a sign two meters away! _I can't do three push-ups!_ You're gonna ask some stupid, blind girl to be a vampire? And expect me to _survive?_ "  
"I am not asking," he said. "Either I supervise you, or I kill you. The choice is yours, but I favor the easier option."  
I felt the prickling grip of dread on the back of my neck. I couldn't decide- I'd have to leave my life behind or be killed. No matter what I chose, I'd lose. "Can I have time to think about it?"  
"I would advise against it," he replied. "Desmond Tiny is always observing, always waiting. The longer you live and are out of my sight, the less you can be trusted."  
I sit on the edge of my bed, books in my hands.   
I'd hurt my family so much if I disappeared. I'd be leaving everything behind- technology, friends, education, comforts... Alternatively, I'd be dead. Same scenario, only I wouldn't have to feel any regrets. I'd lose any of the experiences I could have in life...  
Ultimately, I was a coward. I wanted to live. Even if it was the tougher option.  
"Okay."  
  
The next morning was Sunday. The only day of the week I had off. I made sure to make full use of the day.  
First was breakfast; I helped mum cook and clean, then (neglecting my homework) played a video game with Dante, sat and watched a movie with dad, helped throw together lunch and cleaned up- all while I talked to Mum about typical things. School, boys, things I've been interested in. She shared her wisdom on things I admitted being frustrated with, and we bonded for a few hours after by going out to run errands together. She was a disciplinarian, but she was still my friend too. Time spent together was always nice.  
We came home in time to get dinner started with the groceries we'd bought, and we ended up making a meal of pasta and chicken.   
I savored it for as long as I could.   
It was the last time I'd ever have a meal with my family.   
I helped clean again, then I spend the rest of the night with everyone and laughing as we watch a comedy on TV.   
My family went to bed and I told them good night and that I love them.   
Then I hugged each of them before they went. They seemed surprised by the affectionate outburst, but they were happy to see that I love them that much. I told them I was just in a good mood.  
And when I've said my goodbyes, I went back to my room and tried not to cry.   
Mr. Crepsley was waiting for me in the darkness when I flipped my lights on in my bedroom. "I'm almost ready,"  I muttered. "I just need to pack a bag."  
"That will not be necessary," he said.   
"Yes it will," I insisted. "I know this isn't a vacation, but I need certain things at certain times. My glasses, some clean clothes, lady things-"  
"Those will _definitely_ not be necessary."  
"So I'm not gonna be on my cycle?"  
"It will permanently cease once you have been blooded. Vampires are sterile."  
I knew that much, but until then I'd still assumed I'd have to deal with my biology functioning semi-regularly. "Finally some good news." I muttered under my breath. "Fine, at least take care of my spare pair of glasses for me until this is all over." I passed him my second set of specs from my nightstand. Case, cleaning cloth, all in one.   
"You will not be needing these either." He said.  
"I know. I just want them. Can you just take care of them for me?"  
He looked inconvenienced, but nonetheless he nodded and placed my glasses inside of a pocket on his jacket.  
"Alright. So how are we going to pull this off?" I ask.  
"First you must be blooded. Otherwise you may not survive what is in store."  
I sighed, taking a minute to think... "Can I ask you something before we go through with this?"  
"Go on."  
"Why did you help me before? At the theater... You could've just left me to the police, but you decided to help me hide."  
He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Truthfully, I do not know why I did," he answered. "It was on a whim. Something within told me that it was the right thing to do."  
A whim was what set all of this in motion. It almost sounded like a joke.  
"Well," I sighed as I held out my hands. "Let's get this over with." I didn't like the thought of another person's blood in my veins. Also- _blooding was supposed to hurt like a bitch!_ Did I even have the guts to stay connected long enough...?  
Mr. Crepsley gave me another puzzled look, obviously wondering how much I really knew about the clan just from a few books.   
Then in the blink of an eye, I gasped as he jabbed all ten of my fingertips with his razor sharp fingernails. Blood immediately started to rush to the cuts, and my first concern was what to do to ease the pain in my hands if they were _both_ hurting. " _God_ -" I hissed, trying to be in as quiet of agony as I could. " _Warn me first!_ "  
The vampire only snickered at my frustration and licked my blood from his fingernails. He looked troubled, glancing at me like I'd done something wrong.  "There is an underlying sweetness in your blood."  
"What does that mean?" I groaned, trying my hardest to keep from letting my blood drip onto the carpet.   
He watched me for a moment; expression unreadable as if searching for something. "It is not important, we will proceed."  
I watched as he pricked his own fingers the way he did to me, and I cringed in anticipation. I really wanted to skip past this part.  
But there was always the time where you had to suck it up and do what needed to be done.  
Do or die.   
Literally.  
And so I held my hands up again, and he pressed his wounds to mine.   
It was weird at first. I felt his blood enter my veins through my right hand and travel slowly up my arm. It was awful. It felt like my worst cramps ever moving from my fingers, up my arm, into my chest-  
I braced myself for when it reached my heart.   
But it hit hard. Both mine and Mr. Crepsley's expressions simultaneously twisted into to pure suffering and I collapsed to my knees, but he kept connected to me. I grit my teeth and grunted- it was all I could do to keep from crying out. I shook violently, desperate to drop my arms; but I used all of my strength to stick it out. I felt his blood move through my opposite arm and back to him. We stayed connected for a few more seconds and broke apart with pained groans.   
By that point, I had tears streaming down my face from the foreign pain. I looked over at Mr. Crepsley to see that he was sweating, hands shaking as badly as mine. He raised his fingers to his lips and licked his wounds to close them.   
"I must close your wounds as well," he panted. "Or else you will bleed out."  
I hesitantly held out my hands to him and he stuck my fingertips into his mouth.   
I couldn't conceal a look of disgust as he licked my wounds, wiping my hands on my pants when he was done. "God, that is the weirdest thing I've ever done. "  
"It is an ancient method and is the _least_ painful."  
"No, I meant you licking my fingers. How are vampires not extremely diseased?" I went to my nightstand and got a small bottle of hand sanitizer before pouring a gratuitous amount into my palm. "Want any?"  
He ignored my offer and looked at me like I annoyed him already. "We must keep going. Time is short."  
"What's next?" I asked. "Has the blood already kicked in?"  
"Yes, the blood takes immediate effect. Symptoms take days to appear, but the potential for them is present from the beginning. And since you are so familiar with who I am and how I work, perhaps you'll recognize this..." He dug in his pocket and removed a small bottle of liquid. I knew what it was.  
"I can't just run away? We really have to fake my death?"   
Mr. Crepsley nodded. "If it were a century ago, it would be that easy. But modern police forces and technology make it so much simpler to find a missing person."  
I paused, eyeing the bottle. "Remind me, what exactly will this do to me?"  
"Your lungs and heart will be working so slowly that they will seem to have stopped, and your body will grow cold and stiff and you will lose any feeling," he explained as he uncorked the bottle. "All in all, the effects should wear off in about five days."  
He passed me the bottle and I glanced inside. It was thick and smelled like fresh asphalt.   
"They're not gonna cut me open, are they?"  
"I have arranged for such a thing if it were to happen."  
"That's not exactly reassuring," I deadpan.  
I didn't like this, but I had to trust Mr. Crepsley. I had no choice by that point.  
I took a moment to look around my room one more time. The light blue walls, the gray carpeting, my warm bed... I'd lived in this room for as long as I could remember. I never knew another home. And now I could never come back.   
I looked back at the bottle, to Mr. Crepsley, then back to the bottle.  
I sarcastically muttered "cheers!" before swallowing the foul liquid. My body immediately began to stiffen, and I felt an icy chill spread throughout my limbs. I lost the ability to stand, and Mr. Crepsley had to grab me before I fell face-first onto the floor.


	6. Attending my own Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Mention of suicide/ implied suicide.

It took ten minutes for the potion to "kill" me, and Mr. Crepsley got to work.   
He knelt down beside me and held my head between his hands and unceremoniously jerked my head to the side and snapped my neck. My sense of touch was dead so I couldn't feel a thing, but just the sound was alarming.  "Your neck will heal quickly, but you will be sore for some time. It will be fixed before all of this is over."   
I wasn't sure what he'd planned, but he seemed to know what he was doing. I saw him go to my dresser and unplug the lamp sitting on top. He took the extension cord from it, unplugged it from the wall, and fashioned a noose with it. He pulled it over my head and tightened it before hanging me from my ceiling fan- which I was surprised to see could hold my weight.  
If I didn't take the potion, I would have been killed. But since I couldn't feel any pain and I didn't need to breathe very much, I could have stayed that way for quite some time and only be a little sore when I would be cut down.   
"I will have to leave you this way for a few minutes. Just long enough for bruising to form. We need it to look like you have been there for some time."  
Then a little later, he took my computer chair from my desk and rolled it into the wall that connects to my parents' room. Hard enough to make a loud crash. I heard a rustle on the other side of the wall after the sound, along with my dad muttering to himself as he wakes up. I'd never been able to hear the other side of the wall before. It was amazing how quickly vampiric senses kicked in.  
"I will see you again soon," Mr. Crepsley whispered before leaving through my window.   
Dad knocked on my door moments later. "Eily? I heard that crash, are you alright in there?"  
I couldn't answer. All I felt was dread. I wished I thought of asking for a sleeping potion too so I didn't have to deal with this part- but I forgot.   
"Eily?" Dad asked again, opening the door seconds later.   
There was a moment of silence. Then nothing but misery.   
  
My dad had taken me down from the fan and tried to resuscitate me. But he saw that my neck was broken and cried when he realized that I wouldn't recover. Mum screamed horribly when she saw me, and they called paramedics right away. Dante came in when he heard the commotion, and stared, going pale, for a long minute before going out to the hallway out of sight. I heard him puking outside of my room over the screams. I don't know whose reaction was the worst.  
The emergency responders checked my pulse when they arrived, asked how long I'd been like this, then shook their heads somberly and I was put into a body bag and taken away.   
  
I would've cried a million times if it were possible to cry at all. The memory of my family's reactions would haunt me forever, I was sure of it.   
  
It felt like a long time that I was in the morgue's refrigerated drawer. The very elderly mortician had a hard time getting my eyes to close, but once I couldn't see anything, it felt like a relief.  
He straightened out my neck. The cracking sounds terrified me again and I was relieved that I couldn't feel it.   
And then I heard snipping. The sound of my clothes being removed from me for...  
Oh.   
Oh no.   
He was going to embalm me!  
I heard a metallic scrape beside me and I imagined him picking up a scalpel and lowering it closer to me.  
Did Mr. Crepsley plan for this? He said he did, but-  
A soft knock nearby made him jump- I could hear him take in a small, sharp breath and the faint rustle of his clothes as he turned.   
"Larten Crepsley, you old red bat!"  
"Jimmy!" I could hear the warmth in Mr. Crepsley's voice as he addressed his friend. It was weird hearing it when all I'd ever heard from him was bitterness. "How have you been, my friend?"  
"Oh, you know, nothing but the ol' hack n' slash going on down here, but I'm still doing as well as ever for being eighty-something," the embalmer chuckled. "What about you, what are you up to? Here for another refill? You're just in time, I was about to drain a fresh batch."  
"She is why I am here," Mr. Crepsley replied. "I will need you to keep her as she is. She is still alive and I have claimed her as my assistant."  
"This young little thing is yours?" I heard the undertaker turn to face me again. "Sorry kiddo, you looked pretty gone to me! She can hear me, right?"  
 _Yup._  
"Yes, she can. She will be this way for another two nights or so. When is her service scheduled?" Mr. Crepsley asked.   
"Not bad timing- it's the day after tomorrow. Her dad just dropped off the clothes they want her in this morning."  
That makes me wish I could cry again. I wish I hadn't heard any of the conversation.   
"Very well," the vampire replied. "I will return with her afterward. Where is her burial plot?"  
Jimmy gave Mr. Crepsley the location, and the vampire left with a quick goodbye.   
"Sorry about your clothes, love," Jimmy said apologetically. "I'll get you dressed quickly."  
For the next few minutes I was moved around while Jimmy put my funerary clothes on me, and I was left on the table as I was, lying on my back with my hands folded over my middle.  
Jimmy worked on other bodies for the remaining time I was in his care, talking to me every so often.   
He formally introduced himself as Jimmy Ovo, and I remembered him from the story. Who would've thought that I'd end up living (and dying) in the same town as Mr. Crepsley's old friend? Funny how small the world truly was. If I got the chance, I'd thank him later for taking care of me.  
He talked to me a lot while he was either working on other bodies or cleaning up his table. He told me about how he supplied blood to vampires, how Mr. Crepsley shared stories with him every time he'd visit, and how he'd met the vampire in the first place.   
Jimmy's company made the time go by faster, and next thing I knew, I was being placed in my casket and final touches were being made.  
"This is going to be hard for you, I know," he said softly as he applied concealer to my throat. According to him, the hanging scene left some ugly bruising around my neck. "Larten said you could hear everything, and you're about to hear a lot of sadness for what will seem like a long time. Just stay strong, Eileen. You will be okay."  
  
There were no speeches made at my funeral. At first it was because I thought no one had put in the effort to speak, but the more I listened to the chatter in the room, the more crying and trembling voices I could hear. My parents, Dante, my grandparents, aunts, uncles- all of the sounds of pain from people I loved made my heart sink more and more until I realized that the reason for the lack of eulogies was because no one could handle talking about my death without breaking down.   
Jimmy was right. I had to stay strong.   
But all I could do was listen.   
One by one, voices of friends and family came up to my casket and wept. Steve Leonard even cried- and he never cried! My grandparents spoke to each other about playing with me when I was little and how they thought that I grew up to be so beautiful. My mother, father, and brother came up multiple times, saying more to me and each other each time. Mum and Dad talked about how much they loved me. They said they were proud of the person I grew up to be and that they didn't understand why I did this.  
I didn't understand either. This was agony.  
Dante was probably the hardest voice to listen to. My big brother, like our parents, struggled through his words for the first time I'd ever seen. He recounted a time when we were playing together when we were little. How he once had a bully at a playground and I pushed the kid over for him despite being much smaller. I didn't really remember that time. But I did remember him sharing an ice cream with me after we got our share of scrapes and bruises from it. He said that I was really brave deep down; and not very deep at that.  
Every word broke my heart further and further; and I thought I couldn't take any more.   
  
And then Rose came to the front.   
  
She didn't speak at first, but I recognized her by the way she sighed through her nose.   
My sense of touch was coming back. I could feel the ache in my neck from where it was broken, re-broken, and bruised. I felt the warmth of her hand on mine, and she pulled it back almost immediately when she felt how cold I was. Then more carefully, touched my hair, my cheek, my lips...  
"I didn't know," she croaked, voice breaking. "I didn't know you were so unhappy. I never should have left you alone... Why didn't you tell me? I thought we could tell each other anything..." She slowly places her hand on mine again and keeps it there. "I'm so sorry." Her voice breaks. "I-I love you, Eileen. I always..." She wept, voice muffled as she covered her mouth with her other hand. "I love you. I love you- I'm so sorry..."  
I didn't think I could live with myself when all of this was over. I wished I was actually dead. How could I stay strong with this kind of torture?  
  
The muffled rumbling of the hearse's engine was the only relief I felt during the eventual ride to the cemetery. I was finally able to take a breath, starting to get back some movement in my toes, and I wiggled them inside my shoes to get the rest of me to start coming back. The casket was closed and would most likely remain closed for the rest of the time, so I wasn't afraid of moving my feet a bit.   
The pleasant thought was gone as soon as the funeral procession reached its destination. I was lowered into the earth within minutes; and could hear nothing but more muffled crying until I was in the hole.   
After that, they buried me.   
Eventually the sound of the earth falling on my casket stopped.  
And I was alone in the dark.


	7. I'll Be Alright.

I passed the time by working my muscles back to life. Starting with my hands and feet. Soon I was able to move them as well as my arms and legs and face muscles. My neck was stiff as a board- surely from having been snapped twice. But the bones had mended and I was able to move nonetheless.   
My entire body was on pins and needles from my scalp to my toes- it was horrible. The only thing worse than how I felt on the outside was how I felt inside. I knew families were sad when their youngest died, and I thought that if I braced myself, I could handle the tears; but I never knew that it'd be like this.   
The guilt. The agony. The knowledge that there was no taking any of this back.  
I'd scream and cry out in my grave if I didn't think it'd use up my air much quicker.   
I'd have to hold it all in until I got out.   
If I got out.   
How long ago was I buried?  
When is Mr. Crepsley coming to dig me out?  
  
What if he forgot where I was buried?  
What if he had second thoughts and abandoned me?He wouldn't just leave me here, would he? I mean- he remembered in the story, and he wasn't the kind of person to leave someone to suffer... I think.   
  
The near-silent sounds of dirt being moved overhead reaffirmed my faith in the vampire.   
Thank god, he was here!  
He reached the lid of my casket in no time, and opened the top half. I winced against the bright red light of the full moon overhead.   
"Hurry up," he said curtly. He offered his hand to me.   
I grabbed on and he helped me to climb out of the casket. "Cut me some slack, I just got done living the _absolute worst day of my life!_ " I stood next to him in the hole as he closed the oak box again. Only now do I see that they buried me with my favorite pillow instead of whatever matching one would have come with the casket. They'd also had me put into my favorite black shirt, skirt, and shoes.   
Depression sunk in as I realized that even though they thought I was dead, my family wanted me to be comfortable. "I never want to do this again."  
"Nor will you have to." The vampire paused to look at me. He frowned as soon as he saw my face, and for a moment I thought he was going to ask if I was okay. But he knew already. "Can you not climb out alone?"  
"I can do it," I nodded. I turned from him to the dirt wall. A glance down at my clothes makes me realize that I'm about to get covered in soil.   
Well... I'd just have to take another one for the team. I'd see about washing off later. I jumped up, digging my fingers into the surface of the earth and pulling myself up. It was easier now that I'd developed more strength and agility, and I got to my feet in seconds; bathed in moonlight.   
The night sky was entirely red, as was the moon.   
"You must be loving this, right?" I asked, stretching out and cracking the stiffness from my joints. He was right; my neck is pretty sore. "The sky's as red as you are... The weather causes it, I think. What do you think it's called when it's like this? I never made time to find that out."  
"I do not know," he replied, climbing out after me and beginning to push dirt back into the hole. "Now is not the time for talking."  
For such a beloved fictional character, Larten Crepsley was kind of an ass. I'd get used to it at some point. I hoped. I mean, my dad technically did.  
At least now I could walk off the last of the pins and needles in my legs.   
I ended up taking a quick stroll along the cemetery's path. The air was cool and refreshing, and it almost made me forget about how I felt. Almost. I finally had time alone where I could mourn.  
Tears welled in my eyes when I thought of my family. Of-  
"Eileen?" I thought my heart stopped. I froze where I stood and turned slowly to find Rose Leonard on her bike, with a bouquet of flowers in her hand, gaping in horror at me.   
"Rose," I croaked, moving to hug her.   
But she quickly got off the bike seat and stepped away from me as if I were a zombie. So I stopped. "How are you here...?"  
"I can't tell you..." I didn't know how to explain to her that I was a half-vampire. It'd sound like an outrageous lie no matter what I said. "You have to go. I have to go."   
"You're just gonna leave me? After everything? Our entire life together leads up to _this?_ "  
"I _have_ to."  
"No you don't!" She cried, dropping the flowers and her bike onto the concrete to grab my arms and look me hard in the face. "We could go home right now- we could tell your parents there was a mistake and that you're okay!" The tears in her eyes and desperation in her voice make me want to say yes. I could leave Mr. Crepsley and go home to my family and hide my freakish new abilities.   
But I'd age slower. They'd know something was wrong.   
"I can't."  
"Then we can just leave together," she pleaded, tears rolling down her face. "We don't have to go home, we could leave town! J-Just you and me...! Please... I just want to _be_ with you..."  
I lean back from her. I don't think I've ever done something this hard. It took all of my strength to not cry with her or give in to her.  
Mr. Crepsley calls from my grave. "Eileen! I am almost done!"   
Rose peers past me, then back to me. "Who's that?"  
"I can't tell you."  
"You're leaving me for some stranger? Some guy? A-Are you eloping or something!?"  
"No! It's not like that! I'm-" I defend.   
"Then why can't you come with me?" She asked weakly. "I thought...you loved me..."  
"I _do_ love you, Rose," I reply quietly, taking her hands. "More than anyone!"  
She stares at me for a moment.  
And then she kisses me.  
  
I reflexively pull away from her. Shaken.   
I couldn't imagine what was going through her head when she stared back at me in astonishment. I barely knew what was even going through _my own_ mind after that!  
Not one for rejection, her features transitioned from puzzlement to anger in a heartbeat.   
"So you _lied_." She glared. "I get it. A coward _and_ a liar. Out of everyone in the world, _you_..."  
"No, I-" I reach for her, but she moves out of my reach; expression unreadable.   
"You tricked me. You were stringing me along this whole time to keep me coming back to you! You never gave a _crap_ about me, did you!?" The venom in her voice sent chills through my spine. I'd never seen her so charged up. But instead of looking like herself when she was usually angry, she looked more like a kicked dog. Confused. Hurt. "A-After I told you how much I..."  
She turned from me and stepped on the flowers she'd dropped, scraping them into the ground with the sole of her shoe. "I'm never going to forgive you for this. And I'll find you and get back at you for all of this someday. Just wait!"  
I could feel tears stinging my eyes. I sobbed "Rose. Wait. Please..."  
She ignored me, cursed at me, and kept walking to her bike. I started to follow her to try to stop her, but when she climbed onto her bike and shot me a chilling, hateful look before leaving, I stopped where I was. Clearly unwanted.   
"Eileen!" Mr. Crepsley called.   
"I'm coming!" I shouted back weakly, taking one last fleeting look at Rose Leonard, picking up the dirtied card attached to the flowers, wiping off my face, and going back to my grave.   
I found the vampire patting down the dirt with the back of his shovel, and I leaned against the cold mausoleum wall behind me. I crossed my arms and watched as he finished working. The sight of my name on my headstone and the agony of seeing Rose were what rang home the awful truth: there really was no going back now.   
I remembered the envelope between my fingers and I removed the card.   
"I'll be with you soon." I read it aloud, tears quickly welling up and rolling down my cheeks. What did that mean...?  
Mr. Crepsley tossed his shovel aside and came to me. "What is that?"  
I mumbled, "A card."  
He examined me with a troubled look as I wiped the tears off my face again. "It will always hurt," he said after a long moment of silence. "But it will not hurt like _this_ forever. You will be all right."  
I looked back at him, sniveling like a sad child and quietly, hollowly repeating after him to convince myself that "I'll be alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the ending may have disappointed some people, but I encourage you to message me here or on tumblr to discuss it because it's DEFINITELY not what it looks like (the dreaded Queer Villain Trope). 
> 
> I'd put more information on here, but that would mean SPOILERS.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone!  
> I've been working on this piece for a long time- like two years! I finished it about a year ago and let it sit for a long time before I chose to publish it for everyone to hopefully enjoy!


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